Kate Middleton's secret messages to Prince Harry - 'the ball's in your court'

Prince Harry may have thawed the ice with his father, King Charles, but when it comes to the Princess of Wales, relations still appear decidedly frosty. And nothing showed that more than Kate’s silence on Harry’s birthday last week. The Duke of Sussex turned 41 on 15 September, just days after his historic meeting with his father at Clarence House – their first face-to-face contact in 19 months. While their get-together lasted just 54 minutes, it has been seen as a major step forward in rebuilding royal bridges.

But there are no signs of a reconciliation between Harry and his brother or sister-in-law – and royal expert Duncan Larcombe believes their lack of public acknowledgement of his big day is a sure sign they’re still smarting from his past wrongdoings. “Kate’s silence spoke a thousand words,” Duncan exclusively tells OK!.“They didn’t post anything on his birthday, which the royals normally would do. So Kate’s message was loud and clear: the ball’s not in our court, Harry – it’s in yours.”

Duncan adds that, due to strict royal protocol, the couple can only make their feelings known with subtle signals. In this case, it seems their silence did the talking. “Neither Kate, nor William, can speak out publicly about Harry and Meghan,” he explains.

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“They have kept silent throughout all of this and rolled with all the punches, so they’re forced into subtle, secret messaging – which is what this seems to be. “They’re not prepared to call Harry’s bluff by sending him joyful birthday wishes, so they remain silent and avoid him at all costs.”

But Harry, who has expressed a desire to bring his children back to the UK for visits and have them enjoy a closer relationship with their British family, is said to be eager to paper over the cracks in their relationship.

“I think Harry would love William and Kate to forgive him and Meghan,” says Duncan. “He’s been cast out, so why wouldn’t he want to come in from the cold? But equally, I’m not sure Harry has done anything to demonstrate publicly his desire to reconcile with his brother and Kate, and let bygones be bygones.

“As for Meghan, she has shown no signs of wanting reconciliation with any of the royals – she’s living her dream and promoting her own career. I don’t think she cares about what Kate and William think of her. She’s in her own Meghan bubble.”

Last year, to mark Harry’s milestone 40th, both Charles and William and Kate publicly sent birthday messages. “Wishing The Duke of Sussex a very happy 40th birthday today!” the royal family ’s official social media handle posted in 2024. The post was re-shared on the Prince and Princess of Wales’ joint page. Yet this year, the silence was deafening.

Some believe this could be due to the fact that the prince’s recent birthday isn’t a significant milestone, while others have argued that the royals may have been preoccupied with President Donald Trump ’s recent state visit.

But Duncan says last week’s snub, and the fact that they didn’t meet up during Harry’s four-day visit to the UK, is a clear indication that William – and in particular, Kate – are struggling to forgive and forget.

During their 2021 Oprah interview, Meghan claimed that Kate made her cry – and not the other way around, during their now-infamous row over bridesmaid dresses. The accusation was later corroborated in Prince Harry ’s 2023 memoir, Spare.

“Let’s not forget, Harry and Meghan branded [Kate] a liar, which is pretty hard to forgive,” says Duncan. “So they clearly made the decision that they didn’t want to meet Harry when he was back in the UK – in fact, they almost went out of their way to avoid him.

“They are not ready for any reconciliation, but King Charles was probably put in a difficult situation with Harry’s high-profile visit, as in some ways if he hadn’t met him, it would have been a bigger story. But that doesn’t apply to William. He’s still reeling at his brother because of the things that have been said about his wife –the personal attacks on Kate.”

While Harry may have received the cold shoulder from his sister-in-law, the same couldn’t be said back home in Montecito, California, where he celebrated with Meghan, 44, and their two children, Prince Archie, six, and Princess Lilibet, four.

On the morning of his big day, Meg posted a photo of her husband in military uniform, writing, “Oh hi, Birthday Boy” followed by a fire emoji. And just days earlier she publicly toasted Harry’s return to the US with a snap showing two glasses of her As Ever rosé wine, along with the caption, “When your beau is back in town...”.

While it’s clear William and Kate might not be itching for Harry to return to the UK, it seems the Duke of Sussex’s meeting with the King has paved the way for future visits. Asked if he would like to bring his children back to Britain, he responded, “This week has definitely brought that closer.”

Sadly, we can’t see William or Kate rushing to a cosy family reunion any time soon. “The last time Harry was in London, William wasn’t even in the same country,” says Duncan. “And it’s three years since the Queen’s death, which marks three years since Kate and William even saw Harry and Meghan. That’s a long time. They’re still clearly furious with Harry, so never mind reconciliation – it looks like relations are as sour as ever.”

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